I’m vulnerable and I’m your mom
By Laura María Jiménez
Holistic Therapist, Doula and much more.
Powerless, ignorant, incapable; How many moms have not felt like this in the face of various situations facing the day to day with our children. When they get sick, you immediately blame yourself and running to the doctor already becomes routine. However, suddenly, despite the anguish, listening and beginning to make contact with that invisible language of children, is a task for the maternal CEO. Being able to slow down the desire for answers outside of our family dynamics and find in their hearts vast wisdom to act from vulnerability and embrace knowledge in their little beings, detaching themselves from what we want or from
how we want them to be, behave and look good on us. Perhaps you have heard “children are our great teachers”
However, there is a long way from saying to doing and it is that while you reconcile with your own minimum basic needs, reconciling theirs with serenity and peace is a feat of any high-performance athlete. In this case, the children are our daily marathon.
1-Pause, and allow your hearts full of trust in your care, listen and carefully clarify your mind beyond any protocol (by complying with it) and doing the internal work, your internal work. In other words, not using them as punching bags to deal with your very accumulated frustrations.
2-Positive and healthy attachment parenting is practiced by validating THEIR emotions to listen to them and release expectations about how we want them to heal, when and with what. Allowing them to be, to cry, to scream without wanting to control every minute and tiny movement, gesture and shape. Drop toxic motherhood patterns like sh sh sh sh wanting them to shut up. Which is very difficult, I don’t know that mom doesn’t do it when her son enters that uncontrolled crying loop. It’s hard for me a lot and I feel bad many times for seriously wanting him to shut up and for me to have “silence” or at least “peace”.
3-I am vulnerable and I am your mother, I repeated to my 7-month-old son (and to myself) that in less than a month he fell ill with bronchitis. I followed the medical protocol and took out all the oil and therapeutic knowledge I had to get rid of the pain (internal cause of bronchitis) that he had inside. And that pain was not his, it was mine. And that sadness was not hers, it was mine, the symbiosis of mom and baby is not a simple theory, it is a reality, what each one chooses to perceive as they want, it is still a reality.
The cough with insight lasted three days, the cough without insight, 3 weeks. I, as a conscious mother, facilitate my reflections because perhaps you have already searched everywhere and this reference will give you another angle of parenting, it will help you, mom.
I do know that for consolation when i achieved that happy serenity and peace on a daily basis, my children are calmer, I can offer them that tranquility that I am feeling and it fills me with infinite love, it is not by chance that they suddenly come and hug me Thus, they spontaneously empower themselves by feeling valued and cared for from total acceptance with everything they are and how they do it and why. My mission as their guide beyond “pretending” to dominate or tame them as wild beasts is, to be present. And for that the initial task is to do each of these things with myself, recognizing my simplicity and complexity, my forms (patterns) and my ambivalences.
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